-TEACHER:   Why are you late, Frank?

   FRANK:          Because of the sign..

   TEACHER:    What sign?

   FRANK:          The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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   TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
floor?

   JOHN:            You told me to do it without using tables.

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   TEACHER:        Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

   GLENN:             K-RKD-I-A-L

   TEACHER:        No, that's wrong

   GLENN:             Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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   TEACHER:       Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

   DONALD:         H I J K L M N O.

   TEACHER:       What are you talking about?

   DONALD:         Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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  TEACHER:       Winnie, name one important thing we have today, that we
didn't have ten years ago.

   WINNIE:            Me!
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   TEACHER:      Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

    GLEN:         Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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   TEACHER:         Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

   MILLIE:              I is...

   TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
   MILLIE:            All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
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  TEACHER:       George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why he didn't
punish  him?

   LOUIS:         Because George still had the ax in his hand.
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   TEACHER:     Simon, do you say prayers before eating?
   SIMON:       No sir, I don't have to,  my Mom is a good cook.
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   TEACHER:      Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your  brother's.   Did you copy his?

   CLYDE:          No, teacher, it's the same dog.
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   TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?

   HAROLD:       A teacher.