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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

You can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. :roll:



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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"

I told her, "How about the kitchen?" :twisted:



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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. :x



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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"

Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"



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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!



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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when

his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,

"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief,

but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,

"My wife's first husband." :roll:



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A couple came upon a wishing well.

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled

"It really works!"