Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !  

Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman


There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it  

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of
Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.  

How Dogs and Women are alike?
Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook,
and Both put too much value on kissing  

The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything
and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"  

A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND  

Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice  

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.  

Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!  

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru
hell.
 

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!  

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?  
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't
njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent
is boring(wife)

What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a
woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those 3 women never meet
each other!  

Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is
having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"